


sabres squad

by enbyhockey (Bigbimess)



Series: sabres 2021 season [2]
Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Buffalo Sabres, Group chat, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:00:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 5,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29537199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bigbimess/pseuds/enbyhockey
Summary: a group chat for the buffalo sabres
Relationships: Jack Eichel/Sam Reinhart, Jake McCabe/Rasmus Ristolainen, Rasmus Dahlin/Casey Mittelstadt
Series: sabres 2021 season [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2167920
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. linus ullmark fan club

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Restricted Work] by [LightTheDark](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightTheDark/pseuds/LightTheDark). Log in to view. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think you’ll be able to figure out everyone’s names but if you need it please ask.

**thomps** : how was quarantine guys 

**OG rasmus:** hell part 2

 **eichy** : wow

 **kyle** : it’s not that bad

 **rhino** : kyle you weren’t in quarantine 

**cabers** : i didn’t have fun

 **rhino** : casey how’s it for you 

**mitten** : bleh

 **mitten** : i was just super bored

 **rasmus 2** : same

 **cuz** : weren’t you two quarantining together 

**rasmus 2** : risto are you going on the road trip

 **skins:** look at who’s avoiding the question

 **OG rasmus** : no

 **henri** : who’s the goalie for tonight’s game

 **king** : me i hope

 **brandy 2** : thank god

 **hutton the mutton** : hey

 **rasmus 2** : carter no offense but you suck this year

 **caber** : he’s right

 **staaler** : he’s playing better then jeff though

 **skins** : you didn’t have to point it out

 **staaler** : jeff your job is to fucking score

 **staaler** : you make over 9 million dollars a year

 **staaler** : please score 

**eichy** : the amount of money i’ve lost because you haven’t scored

 **rhino** : are you doing predict the sabres

 **eichy** : i am totally not

 **rhino** : i swear to god are you throwing games 

**eichy** : no i’m betting for us

 **eichy** : i said i lost money

 **brandy** : i hope your doing better than marty biron

 **rasmus 3** : anybody could do better than marty

 **tay tay** : hi guys can we change my name

 **red head** : have you seen all of our names

 **red head** : if you can’t, we can’t 

**king** : get over yourself matt

 **red head** : linus your name is “king” 

**red head:** we have multiple red heads

 **shees** : yeah but everyone knows your a red head

 **milly** : it’s you’re 

**rieder** : can you guys calm down 

**rhino** : hell no 

**tay tay** : how come tobias, henri, and kyle get their own names 

**borgs** : well kyle is a kyle 

**mikey** : and we couldn’t come up with anything good for tobias and henri 

**henri** : also they kept misspelling my last name

 **tay tay** : so can we change mine

 **skins** : when you become a taylor swift fan

 **tay tay** : hell no

 **skins** : then you will stay tay tay

 **OG rasmus** : this is a nightmare 


	2. the d men

**cabers** : dahlin are you and casey ever gonna get together 

**rasmus 2** : no

 **OG rasmus:** caber cut them some slack

 **OG rasmus** : it took us a few years too

 **milly** : don’t you guys find it funny that all three rasmuses are all defensemen

 **rasmus 3** : no because i’m actually a center

 **rasmus 2** : it gets confusing

 **brandy 2** : i feel you guys

 **rasmus 3** : idk why i’m still in the group chats

 **rasmus 3:** especially this one

 **rasmus 3:** i’m down to the taxi squad

 **king** : so is casey but you don’t see dahls removing him from group chats 

**rasmus 2** : please stop

 **hutton the mutton** : never

 **JJ** : us goalies need to stay entertained 

**red head** : it is kinda funny

 **brandy** : i love that your stalls are next to each other

 **brandy** : it’s very funny

 **brandy 2:** i agree

 **cabers** : did you guys see that jack is trending on twitter 

**rasmus 2** : shouldn’t you be telling the other group chat

 **cabers** : no

 **cabers** : they’re all fans who think he should be traded

 **hutton the mutton:** thank god it’s not me

 **JJ** : hey carter at least ralph’s playing you

 **hutton the mutton:** true

 **henri** : i’m so happy we don’t have a game tmr

 **rasmus 2** : i feel you 

**rasmus 2:** after not playing for 2 weeks, having a ton of back to backs is not appealing 

**cabers** : it’s weird not rooming with risto

 **OG rasmus** : who are you rooming with 

**cabers** : Dahls

 **rasmus 2** : i am not a bad roommate 

**cabers** : i was just saying that i am used to room with Risto 

**cabers** : please don’t get defensive 

**rasmus 2** : i am literally a defenseman

 **king** : you guys i’m trying to sleep

 **king** : please stop making my phone go off

 **brandy** : no

 **milly:** also jack isn’t trending but the team as a whole is

 **milly** : everyone is complaining

 **OG rasmus** : that isn’t surprising 

**OG rasmus** : i am too


	3. forward squad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short chapter. the next one is longer

**rhino** : hey jack

 **eichy** : what

 **rhino** : are you going to start putting effort in on defense 

**zem the gem** : dude you have to start caring

 **goalofsson** : jack the fans aren’t happy 

**thomps** : you were literally trending because the fans want you traded

 **eichy** : ok but why me

 **mitten** : because the bills are good now and the fans have abandoned you in favor of josh allen

 **cuz** : you haven’t taken them to the playoffs and josh has

 **cuz** : also josh loves buffalo 

**laser** : has this turned into the hate on jack gc

 **skins** : yeah

 **tay tay** : at least jack has scored

 **skins** : you’ve scored once!

 **skins** : i’m not the only one disappointing fans

 **shees** : we’re all disappointing fans

 **staaler** : except maybe victor 

**goalofsson** : i’m trying

 **kyle:** sam’s also playing well

 **rhino** : thanks kyle

 **rhino** : let’s get it boys 


	4. linus ullmark fan club

**OG rasmus** : i started laughing when the lights cut out during milly’s interview

 **mitten** : that doesn’t sound like you

 **henri** : it was funny tho

 **henri** : also who got the second goal Sam or Matt

 **JJ** : the sabres app says matt

 **henri** : ok thanks

 **rasmus 3:** dylan’s playing great

 **thomps** : jack and sam are playing awesome together

 **mitten** : they’re dating what do you expect

 **OG rasmus** : oh like you and Dahls

 **mitten** : WE ARENT DATING

 **OG rasmus** : sure

 **JJ:** wait Sam got the second goal

 **JJ** : they just announced it

 **henri** : thanks jonas

 **mitten** : oh shit

 **OG rasmus** : what

 **henri** : rasmus are you watching the game 

**OG rasmus** : no i’m getting some food

 **OG rasmus** : what happened

 **mitten** : jake went down grabbing his shin

 **OG rasmus** : is he ok

 **henri** : i don’t think so

 **henri** : he had to have help getting off

 **OG rasmus** : oh no

 **JJ** : jack just got a penalty 

**rasmus 3:** of course he did 

**rasmus 3** : he was just standing still and tried to go for the puck

 **OG rasmus** : any word on jake

 **mitten** : i haven’t seen him since he went down

 **OG rasmus** : i hope he’s ok

 **OG rasmus:** we can’t lose any more D

 **mitten** : thanks a lot jack

 **OG rasmus** : let me guess they scored during the pk

 **mitten** : how’d you guess

 **henri** : god my heart is beating so fast

 **rasmus 3:** at least we won

 **hutton the mutton** : these are hilarious

 **rhino** : i can’t believe we missed chirping casey about dahls

 **OG rasmus** : any update on jake

 **king** : i don’t have one i’m sorry

 **rasmus 2:** at least jack isn’t trending again

 **mitten** : nah it’s too early to tell

 **rasmus 2** : true

 **red head** : get a room you two

 **rasmus 2** : WE ARE NOT DATING

 **mitten** : ^

 **eichy** : not yet anyway 

**rhino** : we can tell that you two have feelings for each other

 **skins** : risto i kinda have an update on jake cause i know you don’t really use twitter

 **OG rasmus** : what is it

 **skins** : ralph’s really concerned, he can’t put any weight on his right side, and we don’t have a diagnosis yet 

**OG rasmus** : oh my god

 **OG rasmus** : he won’t pick up my phone calls

 **rhino** : ras he’ll be fine

 **rhino** : just wait a few more hours

 **OG rasmus:** i’ve been trying to call him since i found out

 **eichy** : ras you gotta calm down 

**mitten** : i’m in buffalo

 **mitten** : ras do you want company?

 **OG rasmus** : sure 

**mitten** : be there in 30 

**eichy** : there are rumors that it might be MCL or ACL injury 

**OG rasmus:** he still won’t pick up

 **rhino** : risto you gotta calm down

 **kyle** : you usually aren’t like this when jake gets injured

 **OG ramsus** : because i’m usually there at the game when it happens

 **mitten** : i’m almost there guys

 **goalofsson** : i haven’t seen any new information 

**brandy** : you would think that they would tell us about jake

 **red head** : i just hope that jake isn’t badly injured

 **cabers** : so do i

 **OG rasmus:** jake i swear to god

 **eichy** : rasmus calm down

 **OG rasmus** : jake you’ve been ignoring my calls since the game

 **cabers** : i didn’t mean too! 

**cabers** : ras i’m sorry please forgive me 

**mitten** : jake please call him he’s very nervous

 **rasmus 2** : trouble in paradise?

 **OG rasmus:** no that’s you and casey

 **mitten** : please stop

 **brandy 2:** wait are we chirping dahls and casey know?

 **rasmus 2** : NO

 **rasmus 2:** as we are not dating, no

 **cabers** : ras i’m sorry

 **OG rasmus** : don’t you dare be sorry

 **OG rasmus** : it wasn’t your fault

 **cabers** : still i should have called you

 **rhino** : love this cute moment 

**rhino** : BUT can you take this somewhere else 

**cabers** : shut up i’m in pain and we deal with you and jack

 **OG ramsus** : yeah we weren’t like this when you got injured sam

 **eichy** : please stop

 **king** : no. this is my daily entertainment 

**skins** : linus this is why people stereotype goalies as weird

 **king** : at least i’m more well liked than the fans

 **skins** : you’re basically the only one

 **cabers** : at least when i trended it was people trying to figure out what my injury was

 **staaler** : well technically a college basketball player also named McCabe was trending as it was “McCabe” that was trending 

**cabers** : STILL

 **cabers** : the fans like me

 **mitten** : and from what i’ve seen victor, dylan, and risto too

 **mitten** : maybe dahls if he has a good game

 **mitten** : and sometimes sam

 **cuz** : why am i liked

 **cuz** : i’ve played like 10 games

 **mitten** : yeah but you have more points than over half of the team

 **cuz** : i guess

 **tay tay** : how can you tell if the fans like you

 **mitten** : check twitter 

**mitten** : especially after goals and the lines are announced 

**hutton the mutton** : i know that i’m not liked 

**king** : we know

 **borgs** : wait jake do you know your diagnosis 

**cabers** : no

 **cabers** : i’ll tell you guys when i find out tho 


	5. linus ullmark fan club

**cabers** : ras im almost back in buffalo

 **mitten** : THANK GOD

 **mitten** : i’ve been trying to comfort your boyfriend since he found out about your injury 

**OG rasmus** : are you ok?

 **cabers** : i’m getting an MRI

 **OG rasmus** : oh my god

 **henri** : are you doing ok borgs

 **borgs** : i could be better

 **mitten** : henri are you going with me on the plane?

 **henri** : yeah

 **cabers** : it sucks that i’m injured because now i can’t watch mitten and dahls make heart eyes

 **mitten** : henri the plane is here

 **henri** : shit

 **henri** : i’m 3 minutes away i had to get coffee

 **mitten** : don’t worry i have to help jake off

 **mitten** : ras which car is yours

 **OG rasmus** : don’t worry i’m close to the plane

 **mitten** : ok i see you

 **rasmus 2** : wait casey you’re gonna be at practice today?

 **mitten** : yeah ralph called me and told me that he wanted me to practice today

 **rasmus 2** : since jake got injured i need a roommate

 **rasmus 2** : so do you wanna room with me

 **mitten** : of course i would!

 **rhino** : aww they are so cute 

**mitten** : please shut the fuck up

 **hutton the mutton** : wow case swore

 **mitten** : i swear a lot

 **henri** : guys casey and i will be at the rink in ten

 **staaler** : ok

 **skins** : i can’t believe ralph

 **mitten** : sorry jeff

 **skins** : no

 **skins** : it’s not your fault 

**skins** : kyle hasn’t scored and he has the A

 **skins** : cody has played in the same amount of games and hasn’t scored

 **skins** : at least i have an assist

 **rhino** : please calm down jeff

 **skins** : no

 **borgs** : do you know who dahls also likes playing with

 **red head** : who

 **borgs** : casey

 **henri** : they were chatting it up in the locker room

 **thomps** : i did that they were closer than usual

 **laser** : jeff ralph may have been doing it to scare you

 **skins** : i’m just mad at him

 **skins** : half of the team is on a scoring slump

 **rasmsus 3** : who hasn’t gotten mad at a coach

 **hutton the mutton** : everyone has 

**eichy** : jeff i’ll try to talk to him

 **skins** : wow the captain is being a captain 

**king** : wow shots fired

 **skins** : at this point jake should be captain with risto and rhino as his alts

 **eichy** : jeff are you ok

 **skins** : no i have a lot of feeling right now

 **skins** : you have barely done anything with the media and jake has

 **thomps** : do you need a hug

 **skins** : i don’t even know at this point 

**eaks** : wait casey and dahls haven’t yelled at us 

**cuz** : what are they doing

 **brandy** : each other probably 

**shees** : please don’t give me that mental image

 **brandy** : sorry

 **tay tay** : what the fuck

 **staaler** : wait where are jake and risto

cabers: risto’s been asleep for the past 3 hours

 **cabers** : i don’t think we thought this through

 **cabers** : i can’t walk and risto is still recovering 

**rhino** : then how in god’s name are you two doing anything

 **cabers** : i have crutches and someone is dropping off meals

 **eichy** : wishing you two luck

 **cabers** : honestly same


	6. linus ullmark fan club

**cabers** : i know the game is about to start but i just got my diagnosis

 **hutton the mutton** : what is it

 **cabers** : MCL, ACL, and Meniscus 

**hutton the mutton** : i’m sorry

 **skins** : i’m hoping you recover quickly 

**cabers** : i do too

 **OG rasmus** : jake 

**thomps** : welcome to the scratch group jeff

 **skins** : thanks

 **JJ** : i thought that you’ve been playing great

 **skins** : i thought that i was too 

**cabers** : YES!

 **thomps** : what

 **cabers** : laser just scored

 **skins** : great

 **skins** : i’m probably not playing tomorrow 

**JJ** : i wouldn’t say that

 **skins** : why

 **JJ** : rieder is getting checked out

 **cabers** : hey sam finally got his A

 **rasmus 3** : yeah but risto will probably get it when he comes back

 **cabers** : you’re right

 **OG rasmus** : if i come back

 **cabers** : babe you’re getting stronger every day

 **cabers** : i was scared that i’d lose you during the quarantine 

**OG rasmus** : jake

 **cabers** : i was 

**thomps** : ok not to ruin this cute moment, but the isles just scored 

**OG rasmus** : of course they did 

**borgs** : ras do you have an estimated time for when you get back on the ice

 **OG rasmus** : nope

 **OG rasmus** : i’m trying to get my energy back tho

 **cabers** : at least you’ll take the ice before i do

 **OG ramsus:** don’t say that

 **OG rasmus** : i need you on the ice with me

 **cabers** : you’ve taken the ice without me before and you’ll do it again

 **skins** : this is better than chirping jack and sam

 **skins** : also sam just scored

 **JJ** : what’s the score 

**skins** : 2-2

 **JJ** : shit

 **skins** : shees just took a penalty too

 **OG rasmus** : for what

 **skins** : tripping

 **skins** : great

 **skins** : 3-2

 **cabers** : fuck

 **king** : that’s exactly how i would describe the game

 **hutton the mutton** : yeah but reino had a nice goal

 **rhino** : thanks

 **rhino** : laser did too

 **mitten** : i thought linus played great 

**ramsus 2** : you definitely played great casey

 **mitten** : you had some awesome blocks too ras

 **eichy** : ah young love

 **skins** : are you two together now!!

 **mitten** : no

 **borgs** : they why haven’t you two said anything about us chirping you two

 **cuz** : or the fact that you ignored the group chat 

**mitten** : my phone died

 **skins** : and dahls’ did too

 **rasmsus 2** : i was at the gym 

**OG rasmus** : ok sure

 **zem the gem:** i don’t buy that

 **cabers** : i don’t think anybody does

 **rasmus 2** : casey and i aren’t dating 

**rasmus 3** : sure

 **rasmus 2** : god i hate some of you

 **OG ramsus** : but not casey 

**king** ; they’re so cute

 **rieder** : jeff you’ll probably play tomorrow 

**skins** : why

 **rieder** : cause im on IR

 **mitten** : so i’m probably going to have to take his spot

 **skins** : or tage is gonna play

 **thomps** : oh god please no

 **thomps** : i don’t want to get crucified by the fans

 **eichy** : most of us have been

 **rhino** : jack i think it’s just you

 **eichy** : and like half of the team


	7. linus ullmark fan club

**skins** : i fucking called it 

**rasmus 3** : i didn’t think that i’d be playing over you

 **JJ** : wait do we have to add the new guys 

**rasmus 3** : i can add jacob 

_rasmus 3 has added brys_

**hutton the mutton** : welcome to the gc jacob

 **brys** : hi

 **OG rasmus** : hi

 **cabers** : do me a favor and make fun of dahls and casey for me and risto 

**OG rasmus** : who has the misfortune of having the room next to them

 **borgs** : if i remember correctly it was jack and sam

 **OG ramsus** : then i’m sorry for casey and ras

 **OG rasmus** : having the room next to those two lovebirds isn’t fun

 **thomps** : i’ve had the room next to you and jake

 **thomps** : that isn’t fun either

 **OG rasmus** : yeah but at least we can be quiet

 **brandy 2** : god please stop

 **JJ** : yeah please

 **zem the gem** : please you haven’t seen them drunk

 **JJ** : i have 

**zem the gem** : not the rasmus who will only speak Fininsh

 **JJ** : i haven’t seen that

 **zem the gem** : let me tell you that is the funniest thing you’ll ever see because jake has had to use google translate but because he’s so drunk he put filipino

 **OG rasmus** : i don’t remember that

 **zem the gem** : to my knowledge that was the night you hooked up for the first time

 **cabers** : how do you know this

 **zem the gem** : we’ve been playing together for years

 **zem the gem** : i know everything 

**borgs** : victor looks soooo tired

 **borgs** : but at least he scored

 **OG rasmus** : nice

 **cabers** : you can always count on victor to put us on the board

 **skins** : you can’t count on me tho

 **skins** : of course casey and R3 are producing

 **skins** : i’m not playing again am i

 **thomps** : join the club

 **zem the gem** : calm down

 **cabers** : yeah at least you’ll play again sometime this season

 **skins** : yay asplund scored

 **skins** : who wants to bet that i won’t be playing on thursday 

**OG ramsus** : bryson is actually playing pretty well

 **borgs** : shit dylan just scored

 **skins** : i’m definitely not playing again 

**skins** : with how well casey and asp are playing 

**cabers** : time to kill a penalty 

**zem the gem** : who took it

 **cabers** : victor 

**JJ:** he never takes penalties 

**cabers** : i think he’s just tired

 **cabers** : he’s been on the ice for over a minute a lot tonight

 **JJ** : i feel bad for linus

 **JJ** : he was so fucking close to having a shutout

 **OG rasmus** : they scored?

 **JJ** : yeah but cody just got his first of the season 

**skins** : oh i’m never playing again 

**rasmus 3:** don’t say that

 **skins** : you fucking scored

 **skins** : and kyle and cody finally got some points on the board

 **eaks** : it was on an open net

 **skins** : well at least you’ve scored

 **king** : what the fuck were you guys talking about 

**cabers** : about how we’re sorry for whoever has the hotel room next to casey and dahls 

**hutton the mutton** : honestly i’d be too but since it’s jack and sam im not 

**rhino** : why?

 **hutton the mutton** : you two are loud

 **brandy 2** : please please stop

 **brandy 2** : i really don’t need to know my teammates sex lives

 **rasmus 2** : haha

 **skins** : who wants to bet that i’m not playing in thursday 

**mitten** : i think you might

 **skins** : with how well you and asplund played today

 **skins** : i wont

 **borgs** : i think ralph’s being too harsh

 **skins** : i just don’t think he likes me

 **king** : well i hope you get to play again

 **skins** : i do too


	8. linus ullmark fan club

**skins** : i hate ralph

 **cabers** : you ok jeff

 **skins** : no

 **skins** : i can’t chirp casey and dahls

 **OG rasmus** : did you see the sabres insta?

 **skins** : no

 **OG rasmus:** they posted casey and ras chatting during warmups 

**cabers** : those two are adorable 

**OG rasmus:** wait jacks been scratched

 **skins** : wait what

 **eichy** : hi

 **skins** : hey here’s a hot tip jack

 **skins** : start acting like a captain 

**rieder** : calm down jeff

 **skins** : fuck no

 **cabers** : at least risto might play against the flyers

 **JJ** : thank god

 **skins** : thank god for ullmark

 **JJ** : he’s not looking 100%

 **OG rasmus** : oh shit

 **OG rasmus** : please tell me carter isn’t going in net

 **JJ** : i don’t think he is yet

 **rieder** : hell ya

 **rieder** : riley just scored

 **eichy** : ok it might just be me but doesn’t sam look hot in the reverse retros

 **cabers** : no

 **OG rasmus** : it just you

 **OG rasmus:** but i know jake would have been

 **JJ** : first of all : ew

 **JJ** : second: keep it in your pants fellas

 **JJ** : and finally: ew

 **skins** : sam must have low standards if he’s still with jack after all this time

 **skins** : like with your hair and shit

 **skins** : that’s disgusting 

**eichy** : rude

 **skins** : at least tuck it into your helmet 

**eichy** : rude

 **rieder** : shit huttons in net

 **cabers** : fuck

 **rieder** : and he let one in

 **cabers** : jonas do you want to go in?

 **JJ** : i’ll pass

 **JJ** : i’d rather be not hated by the fans

 **skins** : casey just scored

 **skins** : and i was a pretty nice goal

 **skins** : i’m not playing against the flyers

 **OG rasmus:** sometimes i hate carter 

**JJ** : i’m just happy i haven’t played

 **skins** : why

 **JJ** : goalie anxiety 

**eichy** : shit taylor took a penalty 

**rieder** : fuck

 **skins** : and carter let another in

 **skins** : scratch that

 **skins** : another 2 in

 **cabers** : jonas please tell me that you’re ok to play

 **JJ** : i technically am

 **eichy** : hell yeah

 **eichy** : i love my boyfriend

 **skins** : it was a nice goal

 **eichy** : of course it was

 **eichy** : it’s sam

 **skins** : please stop jack

 **rieder** : who’s excited for overtime

 **rieder** : shit

 **hutton the mutton** : i’m sorry guys

 **eaks** : it’s not your fault

 **cuz** : was this group chat just jack simping for sam 

**skins** : yeah

 **mitten** : wait so you know that tiktok trend

 **staaler** : no

 **mitten** : know what i’ll just send one

 **mitten** : (link)

 **mitten** : so it’s one of these where it’s me and jake 

**mitten** : and the text when we do the dance at the end is “dating european guys named rasmus”

 **rhino** : THIS IS HOW YOU TWO FUCKERS ANNOUNCE THAT YOURE DATING

 **brandy** : called it

 **rasmus 2** : you have a tiktok

 **brandy** : no

 **OG rasmus** : well congrats 

**cabers** : nice

 **skins** : don’t break each other’s hearts

 **skins** : we can’t lose anymore d

 **king** : or goalies

 **eichy** : please tell me you’re ok

 **king** : i’m probably not playing over the weekend 

**henri** : shit


	9. linus ullmark fan club

**cabers** : i’m so proud of risto

 **cabers** : also he looks hot

 **cabers** : with both the retros and the A 

**thomps** : i swear to god if this is just going to be you and jack simping for your boyfriends i’m going to ask for a trade 

**king** : no i love your dog

 **thomps** : is that why i host partys

 **eichy** : sam is also very handsome right now 

**red head** : ew

 **borgs** : please stop

 **king** : and sam took a penalty 

**eichy** : still handsome

 **eichy** : but that wasn’t really a holding

 **king** : at least they’re doing a good job with the pk

 **borgs** : at least phily hasn’t scored

 **thomps** : at least i don’t have to look at gritty 

**cabers** : i feel you

 **red head** : and now we’re down 1-0

 **eichy** : shit

 **cabers** : why the fuck is risto playing so much

 **cabers** : he almost fucking died ralph

 **eichy** : did he?

 **cabers** : i mean read his article

 **cabers** : i was just so scared

 **borgs** : tobias is playing well

 **cabers** : WAIT BRANDY JUST STOLE THE STICK OF SOMEONE CAUSE HE LOST HIS

 **cabers** : i’m dying!

 **king** : i thought that was illegal

 **king** : also the d kinda sucks today

 **cabers** : yeah 

**cabers** : i wish i could be out there with risto 

**brandy 2** : please take your horniness somewhere else

 **red head** : now we’re down 3-0

 **thomps** : fuckkk

 **hutton the mutton** : i’m so sorry guys

 **OG rasmus:** it’s our fault 

**OG rasmus** : most of the goals were because the d let them have a breakaway

 **skins** : i sucked today 

**mitten** : we all kinda did

 **brandy** : how was dealing with the jake and jack

 **red head** : it sucked

 **king** : they just talked about how hot their boyfriends were

 **rhino** : awww thanks

 **eichy** : you’re welcome babe

 **rasmus 2:** wow jacks a simp

 **mitten** : so are you

 **rasmus 2:** know what you’re right


	10. linus ullmark fan club

**henri** : what’s up boys

 **cabers** : who wants to bet that jeff is scratched

 **king** : i’ll put 50 bucks that skinny isn’t playing

 **thomps** : i’ll take that

 **borgs** : how did we get a fucking nationally televised game 

**borgs** : we suck ass

 **rasmus 3** : at least hutton isn’t playing 

**hutton the mutton** : i’d be offended but i had a terrible game yesterday 

**cabers** : i hope jack has a good game

 **cabers** : he and ras shouldn’t be playing back to backs

 **thomps** : hell yeah

 **thomps** : pay up linus

 **king** : i’m surprised ralph is playing jeff

 **cabers** : why is casey playing over shees

 **shees** : why is kyle playing today

 **shees** : he has to much brain damage 

**king** : WHY DOES JACK’S HAIR LOOK LIKE THAT

 **cabers** : jack looks like he’s in pain

 **cabers** : i think he’s only playing cause it’s a national one

 **shees** : goddamn it 

**shees** : we need to be more aggressive 

**king** : i’m pissed i can’t chirp dahls and casey

 **cabers** : or sam and jack

 **thomps** : that was a good play by dahls. he split the middle and he trusted jonas

 **cabers** : it’s cause he wants to impress casey

 **cabers** : i used to do that to impress ras

 **thomps** : ok that’s cute as fuck

 **shees** : dahls just took a penalty 

**thomps** : DAHLS??

 **shees** : and casey is killing it

 **cabers** : they remind me of how risto and i were

 **zem the gem:** you two were annoying 

**zem the gem** : it was cute but annoying 

**cabers** : we were the best

 **cabers** : jack and sam are annoying

 **thomps** : that i agree with

 **shees** : what the fuck 

**king** : at least jj is making 

**shees** : taylor almost had one

 **shees** : and now cody took a penalty 

**cabers** : shit

 **thomps** : why is casey on the pk

 **zem the gem:** and they scored

 **cabers** : shit

 **cabers** : and they let another goal in

 **shees** : goddamn it

 **shees** : we suck

 **cabers** : at least risto had a good hit

 **thomps** : stop being a simp jake

 **king** : and now we have a power play

 **thomps** : GET IT TO VICTOR 

**thomps** : HE WAS WIDE OPEN

 **cabers** : Sam’s also wide open

 **cabers** : that was a terrible pp

 **cabers** : put risto in front of the net

 **king** : just stop the shutout

 **king** : please

 **rasmus 3** : there is something near the blue line

 **rasmus** **3** : three players have fallen there

 **king** : i noticed that too

 **cabers** : we need more shots 

**zem** **the gem** : do you ever think about how much the third line sucks

 **king** : all the time

 **henri** : and that’s a 3rd goal

 **cabers** : i can’t watch anymore

 **cabers** : tell me if risto scored or gets into a fight

 **king** : can do

 **borgs** : sometimes i’m glad i’m out

 **rasmus** **3** : i just want us to score

 **thomps** : the third line is an absolute dumpster fire

 **king** : i feel bad that we’re doing this to the fans

 **borgs** : jeff finally scored!

 **king** : yay

 **borgs** : guys check twitter 

**borgs** : you won’t be disappointed 

**borgs** : holy shit

 **king** : colin just scored

 **king** : we are within one

 **borgs** : we can do it

 **rasmus 3** : we got this

 **king** : isles just scored

 **king** : risto hasn’t been playing his usual d

 **borgs** : we all know that he works best with jake

 **borgs** : they’ve been close since they got drafted

 **rasmus 3** : they moved sam to jacks line

 **borgs** : that might help us

 **king** : 4 and a half left

 **borgs** : jack looks like he’s in pain

 **king** : shit

 **king** : we can’t loose anymore players

 **borgs** : he’s on the ice

 **king** : well

 **king** : ralph isn’t keeping his job

 **borgs** : there is no way he’s keeping it after 3 losses that were all 5-2 losses

 **staaler** : jeff scored!

 **tay tay** : he finally did it!

 **skins** : woah woah woah

 **skins** : kyle and brandon have played around the same amount of games than me and they haven’t scored

 **brandy** : i’m a defenseman

 **brandy** : i’m not supposed to scored

 **skins** : i have half of the goals that taylor and jack have 

**eichy** : i am playing injured

 **rhino** : babe that’s stupid 

**cabers** : i have the same amount of goals as you 

**skins** : i mean you don’t usually score and now you’re injured

 **red head** : i also haven’t scored

 **skins** : you’ve been scratched more than i have

 **OG rasmus:** congrats jeff

 **king** : risto i would call caber to tell him how to the 3rd went

 **OG rasmus** : already did

 **laser** : the best part of the game was that dahls took a penalty 

**rasmus 2** : why

 **laser** : because casey had to kill it off

 **laser** : also dahls never takes penalties 

**mitten** : that makes no fucking sense

 **laser** : i try 

**skins** : at least my first goal wasn’t an empty netter

 **eaks** : hey!

 **skins** : sorry not sorry

 **JJ** : miller also had a nice goal 

**milly** : thanks

 **hutton the mutton:** it was a nice snipe

 **thomps:** the best part about not playing is that the fans can’t yell at me

 **shees:** that is correct


	11. linus ullmark fan club

**thomps** : goddamn it

 **eichy** : know what

 **eichy** : if i’m injured then casey and dahls get to flirt

 **milly** : i like that logic

 **thomps** : i get that

 **thomps** : but now we have to deal with both you and jake simping

 **cabers** : hey!

 **thomps** : god i hate gritty

 **eichy** : NOO JJ

 **zem the gem** : it’s not even 2!

 **borgs** : curtis what the hell

 **borgs** : that feels like something jake would do

 **cabers** : hey!

 **eichy** : do you not remember that hit you had on laine?

 **cabers** : that was a fun game

 **eichy** : THATS MY BOYFRIEND 

**eichy** : he just sniped it 

**eichy** : i love that man

 **cabers** : ew

 **eichy** : you also have a boyfriend 

**cabers** : yeah but ras is amazing

 **borgs** : good for riley

 **rasmus** **3** : it was a nice goal

 **king** : JJ just had a nice save

 **milly** : it was nice

 **thomps** : i fucking hate looking at gritty

 **eichy** : it feels like my eyes are being hate crimed

 **borgs** : good job brandy and JJ

 **brandy 2** : toby had a good steal

 **rasmus 3** : he speaks

 **brandy 2** : shut the hell up

 **eichy** : that’s 2 for my boyfriend

 **eichy** : i know i have the best boyfriend 

**thomps** : i hope jeff enjoyed the taylor swift they just played

 **cabers** : risto looks great in the A

 **cabers** : stunning

 **thomps** : the flyers fans started cheering for us

 **thomps** : i feel like we are loved

 **borgs** : cody just took a fucking penalty 

**cabers** : brandy is not ok

 **eichy** : i hope he is

 **king** : they flyers took Carter out

 **thomps** : jeff is pissed

 **zem the gem** : i’d be too if i had to play for ralph

 **borgs** : shit

 **borgs** : JJ let another in

 **king** : at least he had a nice save

 **eichy** : vic almost had it

 **cabers** : can we draw a penalty?

 **borgs** : jacob is 

**king** : brandon got his first of the year

 **cabers** : top self where momma hides the cookies

 **milly** : and jeff drew a penalty 

**cabers** : i swear to god we better get it to victor

 **eichy** : that’s my boyfriend 

**borgs** : what has sam done

 **eichy** : he took my spot 

**thomps** : i hate you you two

 **cabers** : my boyfriend just had a nice hit

 **thomps** : you two are such simps

 **king** : what does that even mean

 **thomps** : it means they’re a decent person to their boyfriends

 **king** : i hate eric’s new haircut

 **rasmus 3** : maybe it will end his lack of a point streak

 **cabers** : risto looks so hot without his helmet on

 **borgs** : ew

 **cabers** : i’m just stating a fact

 **eichy** : another pk 

**eichy** : but sam is playing amazing

 **milly** : i hate refs

 **cabers** : we all do

 **king** : i hope jj knows that he’s been playing so well 

**borgs** : we can answer back

 **borgs** : we can do it 

**rasmus 3** : i fucking hate gritty

 **rasmus 3:** i hate him so so much

 **king** : i agree

 **eichy** : can we get victor a goal

 **eichy** : please

 **cabers** : or kyle

 **cabers** : he also hasn’t scored

 **eichy** : where was the fight for rhino

 **eichy** : if i wasn’t injured i’d be dropping the gloves

 **borgs** : we know

 **borgs** : you really only drop the gloves to protect sam

 **cabers** : i mean. i’d be too

 **zem the gem** : oh remember when jack got into a fight after sam got taken out at center ice

 **cabers** : and it was his first fight

 **zem the gem** : and then they made out in the locker room after the game

 **cabers** : i remember that like it was yesterday 

**eichy** : that was a fun game

 **eichy** : except when sam got hit

 **thomps** : god i’m nervous

 **cabers** : same

 **thomps** : victor deserves a goal

 **thomps** : he deserves one

 **borgs** : henri with the hit!

 **eichy** : i love my boyfriend 

**rasmus 3:** we fucking know

 **king** : JJ is playing great

 **cabers** : risto with the shove

 **milly** : boyfriend like boyfriend 

**cabers** : i know i’m a fighter 

**borgs** : matt’s playing great

 **zem the gem** : if i’m being honest i do not enjoy the man on man defense

 **cabers** : DAHLS WITH THE HIT

 **eichy** : who took the penalty 

**king** : jeff and he looks very very sad

 **cabers** : i was about to say that

 **rasmus:** oh no

 **cabers** : that was a weak penalty and now we are tied

 **king** : i feel bad for JJ

 **king** : he’s playing so well 

**eichy** : tay tay drew a penalty 

**cabers** : we’re on the pp

 **cabers** : we can do this

 **eichy** : we got this

 **eichy** : we are going to overtime

 **cabers** : dahls and casey on a line together 

**milly** : i hate shoot outs

 **king** : JJ can still do it

 **eichy** : dahls didn’t get it

 **milly** : nolan scored

 **cabers** : casey is going

 **cabers** : casey didn’t get it

 **rasmus 2** : i’m sorry guys 

**king** : it’s not your fault

 **eichy** : guys guess what

 **hutton the mutton** : what

 **eichy** : i’m out for a week for evaluations

 **rhino** : i swear to god babe

 **eichy** : it’s better than playing even more injured

 **rhino** : you’ve already been playing injured

 **eichy** : calm down samson

 **OG rasmus** : i feel like i watched something very private 

**rhino** : because you did

 **rhino** : also were you guys reminiscing of the game jack had his first fight in

 **zem the gem** : yep 

**rhino** : wild

 **borgs** : congrats on the 2 goals sam

 **rhino** : thanks 

**cabers** : where’s casey

 **rasmus 2** : he’s fine don’t worry

 **JJ** : and by fine ras means he’s blaming himself about the loss

 **rasmus 2** : i am trying to calm my boyfriend down you fuckers

 **cabers** : so cute

 **rasmus 2** : shut the hell up

 **skinner** : dahls did not come to play

 **tay tay** : hey now that brandon scored matt and kyle just need to score

 **red head** : i’ve played in like 12 games

 **cabers** : i scored in the first game of the season

 **red head** : no need to flex

 **kyle** : congrats on the good game sam

 **rhino** : thanks kyle

 **rasmus 3** : should we add CJ and Dustin

 **eichy** : once they play in a game

 **milly** : good job today bryson 

**brys** : thanks

 **brys** : OTs are kinda fun

 **mitten** : nah they’re stressful


End file.
